Prenatal Down Syndrome Diagnosis from Dad’s Point of View #WDSD14

A big thanks to my hubby, Mike, for sharing his thoughts to bring awareness to Down Syndrome.


What can I say about My Son Jack? – that’s what my wife asked me. “Can you write something about Jack, can you say something about him? World Down Syndrome Day is coming, please say something” she told me.

So I sit here with pen and paper and my thoughts on Jack. It all started… oh wait, I can skip over that detail. We all know how babies get here. On November 7th of 2011 we got the word, or should I say, two pink lines that told us we were pregnant. My first thought was, “Oh thank God! Now I can take some time off!” She had me working everyday for this. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not complaining but when it feels like work, I kinda feel like I need to get paid. (Although I did get a Nook out of the deal. Thanks Jack!) Once we found out, it was off to the doctors for Danielle’s ultrasound.

The ultrasound pictures are cool. You see something that resembles a baby. Ok. I’m lying. My wife had to point out to me where the baby was. I was looking at an intestine or something. That ultrasound came in handy, Danielle was so nervous about telling her dad about her being pregnant [again] because he thinks she should stop having kids. I guess he thinks she is getting to that old lady who lived in a shoe. Anyway, she came up with the bright idea of having Gracie wear a shirt that said, “I’m going to be a big sister!” while holding the ultrasound pic… lol, great idea, wish I would’ve thought of it.

Prenatal Down Syndrome Diagnosis from Dad’s Point of View #WDSD14

So it was off to the doctor again, this time for blood work to see if she was at risk for having a baby with issues like Down Syndrome. I never took that test seriously, I mean I guess I thought, “what are the odds?!?” When the results came back that the blood work showed a high risk, I got nervous. I kinda blocked it out though. I thought it was some kind of fluke or some mistake. So they sent us to a high risk for another ultrasound to confirm these Down Syndrome results. The worried feelings that we both shared were, “are we up for this? How bad would it be for him or her?” The ultrasound was done and I’ll be the first to say that I hate going to the doctors office. I call them the ‘bearers of bad news’. The whole time the ultrasound was being done, I kept saying to myself, “it’s okay, everything will be fine” but the doctor changed all of that.

Your baby has Down Syndrome” – like it was a death sentence. They even said we could discuss termination. I don’t think my wife knows this, I never told her, but I actually thought of this news like it was a death sentence. I thought that his or her life was in for a long and rough road. And that to bring a baby into the world having to fight for everything or wondering how people would look at him or her. I couldn’t stand the thought of someone looking at my child and thinking “poor baby”.

The amniocentesis concluded what all the other testing said it would be. So now all the wishing and hoping were over. Our baby would be born with Down Syndrome. My wife had different feelings than me. “No matter what”, she said, “the baby was ours”. And “no matter what, all babies have the right to live”. “Who are we to decide the fate of a child all because the child will be born with Down Syndrome?”

June 21st 2012, my life and my feelings changed.

It was the day that God blessed me with my first son. As his head was coming out, tears began to fall down my face. The doctors and nurses took ahold of the most precious gift and wrapped him in a blanket and laid him on what I call a baby heating table. I walked over to him and looked down at him. Hands and feet kicking and don’t forget the crying. And then I looked into his eyes, my eyes. “THIS IS MY SON and I love you so very much”.

Prenatal Down Syndrome Diagnosis from Dad’s Point of View #WDSD14

Prenatal Down Syndrome Diagnosis from Dad’s Point of View #WDSD14

And not just any son, this is my son who has Down Syndrome and I love him.

Prenatal Down Syndrome Diagnosis from Dad’s Point of View #WDSD14

Prenatal Down Syndrome Diagnosis from Dad’s Point of View #WDSD14

Prenatal Down Syndrome Diagnosis from Dad’s Point of View #WDSD14

 

LOTS OF SOCKS for World Down Syndrome

World Down Syndrome International is trying to create a global voice on March 21st by advocating for people with Down Syndrome so they launched LOTS OF SOCKS. On March 21st, wear LOTS OF SOCKS to get people talking about World Down Syndrome Day and to raise Down Syndrome awareness. Do not wear just any socks, but crazy mismatched socks. Me and my family participated last year and so did YOU! Lots of friends and fans posted their crazy socks (in honor of Baby Jack) to the WE HAVE IT ALL Facebook Fan Page. It was so touching to see the photos come in all day long! Don’t forget to wear crazy socks on Friday and share your pictures on our FB page! 

Do you know someone who has Down Syndrome?

How have they changed your life?


We Have It All

Comments

  1. This is a most precious post. Thank you, Michael, for writing it and for sharing your experience. You have a beautiful family.

  2. This was awesome! The BEST I have ever read!!! It shows an entire “other” side to Michael!!! Michael? You are an awesome Daddy and Husband….and I am VERY PROUD to have YOU as my Son-In-Law!!!!

    We Love You!!

  3. My cousin has downs and she’s actually almost 30. Back when she was born, it was still during the time when special needs kids were ushered to a special class which was separate from the rest of the kids. Her mom fought hard to have my cousin included with the “regular” kids and she won. I thought that was such a great way to get the other kids used to hanging out with someone with downs so that she wouldn’t be made to feel like she didn’t belong. Now my cousin is a highly functioning adult, who just got married to her hubby, who also has downs – and they just got their first apartment.

  4. Such a beautiful post. It is great hearing how you were feeling through her pregnancy. Jack is such an adorable lil boy. I love watching him grow up!

  5. What a wonderful post!! Jack is blessed to have such a loving father! Thank you for sharing your feelings and being so honest!

  6. What a touching post! I was “advanced maternal age” with our daughter and we turned down all of the genetic testing. We knew it would be difficult either way but the bottom line is that she would be ours no matter what and we would just love whomever we were blessed with.

    I don’t have a lot of experience with Down Syndrome but I do know that they always being a smile to my face when I meet them. While most people are in a hurry or cranky or indifferent, people with Down Syndrome are always so welcoming and joyful. We could learn a lot from them.

  7. Thank you for sharing your story. Beautiful.

  8. Beautiful post. Thanks for sharing this — I think it will make a difference to a lot of people.

  9. Oh My goodness. I am crying. What beautiful love from a father :) YAY!!! Happy Down Syndrome day – I am glad that you have some one so miraculous to celebrate!!!

  10. Great post and a great Dad! It’s ok to have those feelings, we are human after all. But then god comes in and takes care of us and points us in the right direction. I am so happy there are many Jack’s in the world. They are the ones that teach us, not the other way around. Here is to wearing lots of crazy socks!

  11. Beautiful, still have goose bumps and happy tears in my eyes.

  12. Such a beautiful story. What a lucky Dad and little boy!

  13. Wow! I have tears streaming down my face right now. What an awesome husband and daddy! God always has a plan – sometimes we don’t understand it – one day we will – but for now, embrace the day and love, love, love!! Jack is beautiful!

  14. This is such a beautiful post! Jack is a beautiful little boy!

  15. What A Great Dad Kudos To Him!!Congrats!!

  16. What a wonderful post! I could feel your love for Jack. I have enjoyed watching him grow since I began reading your blog.

  17. What an amazing story about Jack. Thanks for opening up to share this experience from your point of view… as a dad. Jack is beautiful, I love all of your photos (the one of the ultrasound is also absolutely the cutest ever!). Thanks for sharing the Lots Of Socks program, that sounds awesome!

  18. This is such a great post. It made me cry.

  19. Mike,

    Thanks for sharing your journey with is. We love jack from all the way in connecticut <3

  20. Awh, this is such a heart-warming post. I loved hearing about Jack from his sister and now from his daddy too. Your family is awesome!

  21. christine jessamine says:

    I love this story, what a cutie you have in your family. I have an Aunt with Down Syndrome. She is in her 40s now and is one of the most talented people I know. I did not know about today being national Down Syndrome day, I am putting on socks now (-:

  22. The daddy love here is so touching and brought tears to my eyes. I love how you described your feelings!

  23. What beautiful photos! I just found out about the ock program too.

  24. I wish I could reach through this computer and hug your family. I have been reading this series from you and even though I do not know what it’s like to have a child with Downs Syndrome I would think it would be a blessing. Praise God that you did not listen to the doctors and their suggestions. Your family appears to be giving this sweet boy and awesome home and a loving atmosphere.

  25. Beautiful and amazing story. Honest and loving!

  26. A very beautiful story. I love hearing it from a dad’s point of view.

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