Watch Out, You’re Gonna Get a Spanking! Do You Spank?

Welcome to Week 14
of
Friendly Debates With The Danielle’s!

Happenings of the Harper Household
 
 
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Each Week Danielle from “Happenings of the Harper Household” and I (Danielle) will host this awesome meme and we would love for you to link up and join us.
 
There will be a question each week that will require you to decide where you stand regarding that topic, then of course share those thoughts with the world!
 
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THIS WEEKS TOPIC

SPANKING!

Yay or Nay?
What do YOU say?
 
MY OPINION?
Umm.. Nay. Wait… Yay. Wait, no… Nay.
***Disclaimer***
This will be a rambling post!
Ok – I’m confused. Maybe I am just a hypocrite.
I’ve written a few posts on spanking and my opinion keeps changing. I *really* do not believe that spanking is a good thing. I don’t. But I very occasionally spank. I know, I am *such* a hypocrite!
I just do not understand the logic of “don’t do that or else I will spank you”. I mean, what does that teach? It doesn’t teach why their action was wrong. It just teaches, “I am bigger than you – so listen to me”.
Or how about this scenario… Your child hits his little sibling… so you spank him. Hello?!? No hitting = no hitting?!? It just makes no sense.
 
When my older kids were younger, all I did was spank. With 2 of them it worked. With one, it did not. This little girl was the (IS THE) most hard headed, stubborn person in the whole-wide-world! This little girl would stand there touching the tv screen as I was scolding her saying, “Emma, do not touch the tv or else you will get a spanking” – and there she stood – looking at me – touching the tv screen. Brat. And now 10 years later, she is no different.
 
I thought I was doing it “right”. I would scold them, warn them that if they did not stop what they were doing, I was going to spank them and I would count to 3. On 3 they got the promised spanking.
But now, I have changed my mind. I just do not see the point of spanking. I see it as “I am bigger than you so listen to me or else…”.
But…
I have spanked Gracie.
I have.
Ok – let me have it. I will gladly take it.
Let me help you out – all of you non-spankers will LOVE to rip me apart for this one…
Gracie is potty trained. Completely potty trained. We can even go out to the stores and restaurants with her in no diaper anymore. Of course this is until her temper flares up. When she gets angry, she will go into another room and purposely pee her pants and then come to me with a super cute face and tap my arm and say, “Mommy, I peed my pants in the play room. I need new panties and new pants” and then she smiles. And then – my patience goes straight out the door. I told her last time that she would get a spanking next time she peed her pants. And so last time she did it, I spanked her.
I feel like it doesn’t matter to her at all. And I feel like it didn’t teach her a single thing.
So why did I do it?
I don’t know.
I’ve only spanked her a few times, if that. She’s almost 3 years old.
And even though I have done that a few times, I do not agree with it.
Now…
Let me have it!
 
Now it’s your turn.

Do you spank? Yay or Nay?

Write a blog post and link up!

If you are not a blogger… we still love you! Let us know what you think in a comment below! We’d LOVE to here from you!!

If you get a chance…

Drop in to some of my other Debate Posts:

Extended Rear Facing Car Seats

Banning infants and toddlers from restaurants

Breastfeeding in Public?

Re-Gifting or Returning Gifts: Rude?

Strict Schedules with Children?

Santa?

Vaccines

Child Leash

Circumcision

Piercing Baby’s Ears

Family Bathing

Trick-or-Treating

Adult Only Wedding Receptions


Comments

  1. I can see your confusion. It IS hard to know what to do, especially when reasoning and other forms of discipline don’t work. We do not spank, but I really don’t know what the right answer is.

  2. I guess my thoughts on this are that spankings in my home growing up were a very different animal. My parents knew in advance what infractions merited spanking. My brother and I knew what would merit a spanking, and we were only spanked when and if we did the things that merited a spanking. It was never a, “If you don’t stop that by the count of 3, you will get a spanking.” We were always set down after we’d done whatever it was we had done, and my parents explained to us exactly why we were getting a spanking. If it was because we had been willfully disobedient toward our parents and broken a household rule (for instance, touching the TV screen), that was made clear to us before we were ever spanked.

    Regarding, “If I tell my kids that hitting is wrong, why is it okay if I spank them?” — the point here is not that, “I’m bigger so listen to me.” The point is that you are the parent, the authority figure, the one whose job it is to set and enforce the rules, and as such, you are the one who determines what constitutes an appropriate punishment. Spanking and hitting are not the same thing. One is discipline, performed with calm and as a planned response to a very specific offense by the authority figure(s) in the home. Hitting is when you lose your temper and lash out at someone. If the fact that you are the parent did not automatically make you the person who gets to set down and enforce the rules in your house, then your child should be able to continue touching the TV screen for as long as she wants, because your desires, your rules, and your authority levels are the same. Of course, it’s absurd to argue that a toddler has as much authority as her mother. You, in turn, are obligated to make sure that spanking is employed only in situations where it is expected, only when it is a controlled response, and only when the child understands exactly why it is happening. If you’re just using spankings because you’re put out with them, then it really is just hitting and there is no difference.

    The important thing is to have a consistent plan for discipline and to use it consistently. There are clear rules, where you are the one who sets and enforces the rules, and when the kids violate them, you’re not lashing out or losing your temper. You are simply enforcing the rules that they should already know, and if they don’t, you’ll remind them before they are punished.

  3. Thanks for the comments ladies, and Kate, I have to agree with what you said. (See! I told you I was confused!) I see both sides to this argument and I’d love to hear from parents who do not spank!

  4. What a great topic for discussion! I really enjoyed reading your post, and I linked up with my own!

  5. I linked up! 🙂 I was spanked as a child, I am fine! 🙂 I will spank Big Sis, but it's far less effective than Time-Out. So we do that WAY MORE than spanking.

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