Man Shower vs. Woman Shower

HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN:

  • Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
  • Walk to bathroom wearing long robe. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
  • Look at your womanly physique in the mirror — make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
  • Get in the shower. Use wash cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
  • Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
  • Wash your hair again to make sure it’s clean.
  • Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner.
  • Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
  • Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. Rinse conditioner off hair.
  • Shave armpits and legs.
  • Rinse off.
  • Turn off shower
  • Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
  • Spray mold spots with Tilex. Get out of shower.
  • Dry with towel the size of a small country.
  • Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
  • Return to bedroom wearing long robe and towel on head.
  • If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.


HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:

  • Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
  • Walk naked to the bathroom.
  • If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.
  • Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
  • Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
  • Get in the shower. Wash your face.
  • Wash your armpits.
  • Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
  • Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
  • Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
  • Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
  • Wash your hair.
  • Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
  • Pee.
  • Rinse off and get out of shower.
  • Partially dry off.
  • Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
  • Admire wiener size in mirror again.
  • Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, and light and fan on.
  • Return to bedroom with towel around waist.
  • If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
  • Throw wet towel on bed.

If there is anyone who did not laugh at the truth behind this,

there is something SO very wrong with you.

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