Birth Order of Children

1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon
as your OB/GYN confirms your pregnancy.
2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.
3rd baby: Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes.
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Preparing for the Birth:
1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously.
2nd baby: You don’t bother because you remember that last time,
breathing didn’t do a thing.
3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your eighth month.
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The Layette :
1st baby: You pre-wash newborn’s clothes, color-coordinate them,
and fold them neatly in the baby’s little bureau.
2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean
and discard only the ones with the darkest stains.
3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can’t they?
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Worries:
1st baby: At the first sign of distress–a whimper,
a frown–you pick up the baby.
2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her wails
threaten to wake your firstborn.
3rd baby: You teach your three-year-old how
to rewind the mechanical swing.
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Pacifier:
1st baby: If the pacifier falls on the floor, you put it away
until you can go home and wash and boil it.
2nd baby: When the pacifier falls on the floor,
you squirt it off with some juice from the baby’s bottle.
3rd baby: You wipe it off on your shirt and pop it back in.
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Diapering:
1st baby: You change your baby’s diapers every hour,
whether they need it or not.
2nd baby: You change their diaper every
two to three hours, if needed.
3rd baby: You try to change their diaper before others
start to complain about the smell or
you see it sagging to their knees.
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Activities:
1st baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics,
Baby Swing, and Baby Story Hour.
2nd baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics.
3rd baby: You take your infant to the supermarket
and the dry cleaner.
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Going Out:
1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter,
you call home five times.
2nd baby : Just before you walk out the door,
you remember to leave a number where you can be reached.
3rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she sees blood.
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At Home:
1st baby: You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby.
2nd baby: You spend a bit of everyday watching to be sure
your older child isn’t squeezing, poking or hitting the baby
3rd baby: You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the children.
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Swallowing Coins:
1st child: When first child swallows a coin,
you rush the child to the hospital and demand x-rays.
2nd child: When second child swallows a coin,
you carefully watch for the coin to pass.
3rd child: When third child swallows a coin,
you deduct it from his allowance!

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